Self-Defeat

Self-Defeat

It is in the glory of my self-defeat I sit here
Sure of the pointlessness of my life
All the doors closed down life's hallway
A testament to my self-defeat

The bright light of life's joy and clamor
Set below the horizon and hidden from view
A cold wind of bitterness
Sending shivers down my spine

How glorious defeat can be
Filling every need and wish
No longer fighting for today
All futures gone and bare

Only stubbornness and fear remain
Keeping me from the final stillness
When rage's fires turned to ash
A rigid turn and twit, an echo of the fight

It is in the glory of my self-defeat I sit
Taking in my last breathe and bracing
For the next pass at the insurmountable
I turn and leave my glory behind

I continue because I must
I continue because I cannot stop
I have lost again and again without end
But I cannot quit though it's my dream

For I need to lose my defeat
Turn my self-defeat upon itself
And thru losing my defeat gain the glory
Win myself thru the loss of all my defeat