Wonder

Wonder

I wish I knew what you felt and what your thoughts are
Do you look up at the sky as I do and cry out in pain?
Are you sunny days filled with shade and cold winds?
Or do you pass through the days quietly and warm?

The man that can control his tongue is perfect it is written
And assuredly I am not that man as I have hurt many
So I have no bitter words to say now that I have been hurt
Nor will I lash out in my pain to return pain for pain

But I wonder how your words have affected you
You have apologized and said you are sorry
But still I wonder how your words have touched your life
What lessons you have learned from what you have done

I have been forced to learn a lesson from what transpired
I am torn in two and my edges bleed a red so deep
I still want you and I shake with the desire to run away
I scream out silently my defiance of what I am expected to do

I wish I could hate and be as cold as some claim I am
But I can’t it just isn’t in me and I can’t regret that
I wish I could be defiant and defy what I should do
But I can’t it isn’t who I am even when it hurts

I wonder each time I see the light of day just who you are now
I’ve forgiven you your words and the bewildering pain they caused
However you and I still have to deal with the consequences
And I wonder who you’ve become